J'orts

There was lots to be happy about today.  For one thing, our family of seven was whole again after almost a week of Boy Scout camp and Air Force travel.  In addition, there were quite a few robust yard sales in my neighborhood at which I bought some Tupperware and a banana hammock.  Furthermore, my husband made a delicious dinner which included fresh cucumber salad made with cukes fresh from JoJo's garden.  (This is some 17 Bites overlap we have here.  Mental Note: talk to Robin about cross marketing!)

But the happiest thing about today was when Matt and I systematically analyzed his entire wardrobe, pulling half of it out of circulation.  I can narrow the joy down even further and identify the happiest moment of my entire day; it was the moment he agreed to throwing away these jean shorts.

Here's how it went down:

Nancy:  So let's see... we have lots of shorts here... this pair is nice for golf... oh, these are cute... wait just a minute... what is going on here?

Matt:  Umm... I wear those a lot.

Nancy:  Maybe we should throw these away.

Matt:  But I love them.  They are very soft and comfortable.

Nancy:  I bet they are.  How do you think this hole got here?

Matt:  Umm... I don't know.

Nancy:  I am totally going to put this on the blog.





The unconscious-johnson-rubbing-wear-and-tear aside, there are serious problems with the j'orts.  The back pocket is about to fall off, for one thing.

There is also a mysterious hole that looks to be caused by toxic fart vapors.

Matt tells me these j'orts are from the year 2000.  This means the j'orts preceded two of our children and the debut of the Euro.  Their soft comfortable-ness has helped Matt endure four moves, 8 trips to the emergency room, an assignment to Afghanistan, his wife's cancer, lots of overflowing toilets, a couple of leaking basements, 150 lawn-mows, and quite a few losses by the Chicago Bears.  They accompanied him on at least 20 vacations, to one million children's sporting events, and to over 50 school conferences.  They sat quietly by through eleven winters, waiting for spring to come so they would again be appreciated for their own special qualities.

You are starting to think that he should keep them, aren't you?  Yeah, me too.

They give him comfort.  They have stuck by him when times were tough.  They were there when life's most important moments happened.  Maybe they are not as beautiful as they used to be, but we don't discard someone, I mean something, just because it has lost the blush of youth do we?!  Just because someone, I mean something, has a few superficial blemishes doesn't mean they are not desirable!  The j'orts are very soft and comfortable, for God's sake!  And stop calling them j'orts!  They are summertime jeans, and my husband has a relationship with them!


So.


We are going to keep the jean shorts.  Comfort is important, right?  And today I recognize that seeing Matt happy, in his horrendously hole-y j'orts, makes me happy too.